they might've been real once, but

i think i will return to vagueness and.... One of the many projects I never had the time to do - taking this poster/flyer from COLT from around 1980, scanning all four sides, posting it with a little filmography/videography of each (not all of them appeared in films). Funny, now that I have all the time in the world, it is no more likely to materialize - but why should you suffer because I am lazy and despondent? Here's at least part of it scanned and uploaded for your viewing pleasure. Yes, I think I will continue to sell off some gay, though not pornographic material, over here, before getting back to the porno. Y'all have a lovely weekend, ya here?

posted by bj at 8:24 AM

self-sufficience please!

armyofme

posted by bj at 10:49 PM

Jack Wrangler Fraternity

posted by bj at 9:14 AM

Listen, the Loon Sings

I am not a morning person. But I do find myself waking up earlier on days off than work days, and sitting here with some freshlybrewed coffee, listening to the birds. Sometimes I wish I knew more about them, and could tell which species I am hearing, but sometimes it is nice to be just clueless, and only think of which individual little tweeter is trying to communicate to some buddy of his....

in other, more serious news.... riding home last night, after saying goodnight to a buddy who was nice enough to listen to me about my troubles, I reflected on my assignment. I know, I know, i am supposed to be 'moving on' and letting myself feel the loss, and get emotional, and stop, at least for now, intellectualizing this loss (for you non-reading-between-the-lines types, i am recently ......... if you knew how long its taking to type this next word...... single) anyhoo - the assignment is to let myself really feel it, and just let it out, and riding on the bike, late at night, i figured perfect - i can wail, and sob, and scream, and I tried, goddamnit i tried (and startled a few drunkards) but i started humming, something familiar and godawful and then i started to sing a phrase or two from the song, and being rather disappointed in myself - therapy aint cheap, and my insurance doesnt cover it, and goddammit i'm supposed to be crying and yet i am singing a goddamn paul mcCartney song of all f*kin songs, and i never really get the lyrics right, but still, (OK, it's a beatles song, so its not that bad, right?), and i can cry all day but I cant let it go.....la la la la I've loved you, la la I love you still, Will I wait a lonely lifetime, If you want me to - - i will.

posted by bj at 8:51 AM

IML IV

IML XXX

Interesting that in '82, IML was at Chicago's Park West, and this weekend, the Grabbys are there. then again, maybe not so interesting....

posted by bj at 3:44 PM

higher power

melancholy maybe

light up my life

hope

I want you to sing like "Big Audio Dynamite" - why B.A.D. (Big Audio Dynamite)? gosh, cuz his singing is sooooo bad and out of tune, but the songs are so damn catchy that you can just blast the stereo, and sing along, just as out of tune, and let yerself goand laughand cry, which is why i would just die without my stereo, yaknow? And yo la tengo below? gosh, the sweetest, most vulnerable voice - just intoxicating....

posted by bj at 10:47 AM

summer sun

today is the day

you don�t have to be so sad

posted by bj at 10:47 PM

meanwhile.....

Summer reading! Cleaning out the closets and clearing off the shelves - check these out (sorry, yes, only shipping within United States), bid, buy, scratch your head, whatever.....

posted by bj at 8:07 AM

stubbornly doing nothing

after 25 minutes standing in the middle of the intersection at 20th and 3rd avenue, I realized it was time to go home. And at the moment, am just too dispirited to even jot down what I was thinking about in the long, bikeless ride (in the rain, did i mention it was raining?) home.

posted by bj at 8:52 AM

don't ask, cuz i aint sayin'

In other news, I've given up pornography and can be found over here, which is pretty much the same as over here. Long version short - didn't think I could sell much ending on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, so thought I'd dig through the stacks of stuff lying around in boxes, shelves, closets (I have two - in NYC ferchrissakes!) that just needs to go. And then this collection of AFTER DARK magazines - some cool stuff buried inside those issues, but I am getting tired of just moving this sh*t around this tiny apartment, when i could use the $$$, the space, and who knows, if I ever want to jsut get the f8ck out of this rotten town in a hurry, the less to pack, the more in the bank, the easier, right?

posted by bj at 6:02 PM

Looking for a song

posted by bj at 11:07 PM

I've seen it all

posted by bj at 2:10 PM

men together

still working on auctions

posted by bj at 12:20 PM

3 random cocks attached to 3 random men

way behind on working on auctions; more this weekend

update: these are from the 1977 magazine, BLOW - SEE more PICs HERE

posted by bj at 8:39 AM

I'm not like all the other girls
I can't take it like the other girls

Medication

Mad World

You Look So Fine

posted by bj at 1:45 AM

Stupid smiles and autographs

Frank Sinatra

Another gay boy has discovered the joys of Miss Kittin; a few years back I remember playing this for another blogperson, Chas, while we were hanging out late one night in my apartment, on one of his visits to NYC. He'll be back in town in 10 short days, and we've already reserved our stools for Code Night. Y'all know my fave Miss Kittin tune is Rippin Kittin, but I still haven't found what I'm lookin for - the mash-up of Rippin Kittin and Gary Numan's Cars. Give me that, a joint, a smoky club at 3am, a few beers, and

posted by bj at 8:50 PM

non-porno moment

this is the last photo i took with my now broken camera. taken about 5 weeks ago. i don't think i've even shaved since then. i had hoped to make some sort of card out of this, but things changed....

headphones
posted by bj at 8:55 AM

HARDON HIGH JOCKS

OF COURSE - SELLING this (on eBay, - auction item #180237417556, ends SUNDAY May 4th.)

posted by bj at 6:16 PM