home (remix)

despite the number of times i really hate this town, there are times when i realize how much i love it. it can just be hard to get to the place (in my head) where i can remember to put myself back to where i love it again. columbus day weekend i thought would be the last time of the year to be out without tons of clothes and all, and in the sun, and enjoying being in shorts and just gazing out at the sky, so by the end of the weekend i was kinda sad. but then last weekend, we got good weather again, and i forced myself out into the annoying weekend traffic, and found a spot over on the west side, relaxed, pulled my shirt off, tried reading a book but just letting my head fall back against the bench, looking at the sky, the clouds, and just listening to the hudson river – it was all so restful. after about an hour, i realized i was the only shirtless person i saw out, but the sun was just holding me, and making me feel, i don’t know, well – held. i stayed out until the sun was nearly set, then pedaled home. but not my usual newyork pedaling…… but a quiet, purposeful slow ride home, like i would do when in provincetown. not really seeing anything, or focusing on anything other than the slight breeze against my lightly sunburned head, just smiling to myself, feeling held.

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